Friday, February 17, 2017

A SCENE WITH ADAM AND JAYSEN ~~BLAZING HEARTS~~PAUL NOSACH


?51qwwiwkjcl“Can I talk to you?” Adam announced himself, by asking the question.  Since the death of Curtis Brown, Adam had been silent, took the advantage of grief counselling at his school and even considered the matter of his uncle’s offer.  But Adam had turned that away in a heartbeat.  He had succeeded in ruining his uncle’s career as a doctor.  The job was done, but he didn’t take into account of Curtis’ life.  He didn’t expect his best friend to blow his brains out.  After that had happened, nearly half the school had taken grief counselling.  Adam didn’t.  He wanted to remain in solitude in his own room.  “Adam!” Jaysen was surprised to see Adam for the first time in a month.  “How can I help you?” he asked, politely turning down the music, and offering a seat opposite him.  Jaysen’s office adjacent to his bedroom was lined with books.  Books he read and books for reference.  Although there was a lot you could fine on the Internet, it said a lot about Jaysen’s character.  Having brown hair, blue eyes and an average build – not so much as Sebastian – Jaysen was a caring person who would really listen.  Jaysen Stripe wondered why Adam hadn’t come to him sooner.  Jaysen barely left the house.  He didn’t drive because of his epilepsy.  He let Sebastian do all of that.  The only alternative for Jaysen was a taxi.  And the fares seemed to be climbing each year, if not, yearly. “It this about Curtis,” Jaysen dared to venture.  “No.  I think it’s something else,” Adam voice seemed empty.  His black hair looked as if it hadn’t been washed in days.  His eyes were still a bit puffy from the crying he had done.  Curtis’ funeral wasn’t so long ago, and it was fresh in everyone’s mind – everyone who knew him.  And just the way Adam Ludsgarden looked was almost child-like.  Was he hiding something?  It could not be the sorrow he felt for his best friend.  There must have been something else.  And since Jaysen was the only neutral person in the house at the moment, he had observed a lot in the past weeks.  But right now, the silence had gone deafening.  “Well, is it your Christmas list?” Jaysen wanted to joke, even though it was true.  Christmas was just next month.  He figured Adam would already have a list made – and no doubt having Curtis on that list would be one wish Adam wanted.  “No,” Adam replied, a smirk appeared on the kid’s face, but only for a fraction of time.  He got the joke.  But nothing prepared Jaysen for what he said next.  “I think I’m gay.” Jaysen immediately straightened in his chair.  He was simply shocked to hear the words come from the boy’s mouth.  Of course, he couldn’t call Adam a boy or kid now since he was in his early twenties.  Adam Ludsgarden had become a grown man.  “How do you know?” Jaysen asked.  “Do you have feelings for someone?  Are you attracted to a person of the same gender?”  Jaysen stopped there.  He didn’t want to bombard the boy across from him with too many questions.  For all Jaysen knew, Adam might not even answer them or even know the proper answers.  He might not even know how to answer!  And what he just asked Adam was enough for now.  Those two questions would confuse any normal person. “Remember Curtis?”  Adam asked, bringing up the topic of his deceased friend.  Jaysen leaned forward, resting his elbows on the top of his desk, nodding silently.  Of course he remembered.  It was the sole reason why Sebastian was fired from his job.  “I liked him.” “Adam, there’s a big difference from liking someone and liking someone,” Jaysen started.  “For example, I like your uncle, but we’re just friends!  We’ve been friends for years!”  He was trying to make a point, but the look on Adam’s face, seemed as if it wasn’t getting through.  But Adam knew the difference between friendship and lovers.  That much was true.  He wasn’t stupid.  After all he did accuse Uncle Sebastian of screwing the man who was sitting right before him.  Jaysen sat there, waiting for more, but didn’t get any as he expected. Finally Adam said, “I don’t know,” and shrugged his shoulders.  It was obvious he was more confused than he thought.  “Have you spoken to your uncle about this?”  “No.  I wanted to come to you first, because...” His voice trailed off, as though he were guilty of a capital crime.  Jaysen caught the drift.  He knew what Adam was aiming at.  “I see.  You came to ask me, because I’m gay.  Is that it?” Again, Adam shrugged.  But this gesture was something of shame.  He even hung his head low to hide the appearance on his face.  “I’m sorry.”  It was all he could say."

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