Friday, February 17, 2017


I woke up in the middle of the night with a massive jolt and my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to beat out of my chest. Sweat covered me and I could barely catch my breath. My sheets were soaked and my head was pounding in time with my heart as it slammed against my ribs. I frantically looked around the room. There was nobody else in here but me. The room was dark, except for the flashes of light coming in through the window. I sat there in the middle of my bed for a while teaching myself how to breathe slower and hoping my heart would slow down some. Thunder and lightning storms have never bothered me. In fact, I always thought it was kind of pretty, in a non-chick sense of course. I always found storms soothing and a little romantic. I'm definitely a closet romantic, my mother did it to me with all the years of my childhood listening to Delilah on the radio and watching sappy lovey dovey movies. It doesn't bother me to admit it either. CRACK! BOOM! Another flash and bone-chilling rumble ripped through the late night air. My room lit up like the Fourth of July. I just sat there and watched as the storm raged on with a ferocity that would scare Zeus himself. I smiled at that thought. Zeus God of all Gods and Ruler of Olympus scared. I amused myself with that thought and its consequences for poor Zeus for way too long. Before I knew it, I was up off the bed and standing in front of the open window enjoying Mother Nature's rampage. As I stood there watching the storm I couldn’t help but recall the conversation I had with my father. I chuckled to myself, the storm reminding me of my father. I used to call him Zeus when I was little because he was tall and commanding. He would laugh and chase after me then throw me over his shoulder when he caught me, laughing in a deep baritone. As I got older, I realized just how commanding he really was. The nickname stuck and not in a good way. It seemed like every time I thought of Zeus the lightening cracked down on the earth harder and harder. It almost felt as if the storm were agreeing with me about how much of a similarity there was between the two men. Recalling the conversation about college and how my father freaked out when I told him I wasn’t interested in his plans but my own, the storm got worse with lightning striking close by. The bolts were blindingly bright and fiercely intense. As if Zeus himself threw every single charged bolt from the sky. It was really pretty after a while. Storms seem to calm me down and help me get a grip on my thoughts. The soothing dance across the night sky is a beautiful reminder lightning can be as breathtaking as it is deadly. Kind of like girls, they seem lovely and graceful as they dance through life then the moment comes when you corner them and demand truths you believe you’re ready to hear, that’s when they strike and burn your heart to ash. Females are deadly beauty… like lightning. Focusing my attention back to the storm raging outside my window I did my best to push the thoughts swirling around my head to the back of my mind. I just wanted to enjoy the storm and its natural beauty but the raging storm reflected my mind at the moment. Everywhere and nowhere all at once, confused on which way to go but wanting to go in all directions and never truly figuring out how to accomplish such an endeavor. This summer vacation was the worst few months of my life; it started out like any other but ended up changing my life forever. I lost hope in humanity for a while and went as far as stooping to levels I never imagined I could. Betrayal is a mood killer."

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